Violence, Sex, & Profanity in the Media....Some Thoughts on Personal Limits

This morning on the Doug Wright show he was talking about personal limits about where people draw the lines in their movies and TV shows.  Most often, the categories people use are sex/nudity, violence, and language.  Of course, as a film critic, Mr. Wright (who is an active Latter-day Saint) is often required to see films with objectionable content.  However, even still he indicated there are limits on films he will not see.  Despite criticism from many LDS listeners to his show, he has been reassured by several high-level and prominent members of the LDS leadership (he did not want to use specific names) that he is a watchman on the tower and that, ultimately, it is up to individual people, not the leadership of the Church, to know their OWN limits and their OWN preferences and be their OWN policemen in determining what they view.  Ours is a Church, uniquely so, of personal revelation and inspiration.

With that said, I will share some of my thoughts that influence my personal efforts at exercising my moral agency responsibly for what I view in movies and on television.  First, of the three categories, the one to which I am most sensitive is sex and nudity.  I am more offended at a bare rear end or women's chest than I am at war level violence in some historical films.  Why is this?  To me, it is very simple--the sex and nudity are real, the violence is not.  Naked bodies are not achieved with make-up and effects, they are only achieved by asking someone to irreverently and inapproriately display one of God's sacred creations and gifts to us, our body.  Often, this is done in ways that are not only offensive to the creation itself, but also mock the powers of creation and disrespect the sanctity of the beauty of our body.  Violence, when I view it on the screen, is seen as an artificial depiction of reality. Even still, I have my limits when it comes to violence as well.  I am not a blood and guts, gory movie loving type person.  But there is a distinct, and to me important, distinction between these two categories in film.

Heavenly Father has created all life, and there are two powers associated with life--that of creating it and that of taking it.  Of those two, he shares with us only one, the power to create life.  He reserves for himself the power to take it.  I also am sensitive to situations that profane either the creating or taking of life.  Bedroom scenes and the like are an offensive profanity in my eyes that mock that sacred power of procreation.  Heavenly Father has entrusted us with a sacred, intimate act which is meant for only two people....not two people and a viewing audience.  Where some people feel it is "beautiful" to see tender depictions of sexual love, I feel it is a mockery, obscenity, and profanity of the highest order towards to the most sacred power of all that we have been given by our Heavenly Father.

In regards to violence and the taking of life, this is an act which can occur, sadly, in the life of any righteous Christian or Latter-day Saint when serving their country in war or on a law enforcement agency.  When I see depictions of violence, I am sensitive to whether it is actually profaning life itself or accurately depicting the consequences of an unrighteous exercise of one's agency.  Some films with extreme violence I feel actually display the consequences and causes of that violence, while others glorify that violence.  Simply put, I can usually tell by how I feel.  I have seen some historical films where I had a disturbing spirit while I viewed them which told me that the violence was there for show, it was there for reasons of macho bravado.  While other films just as violent have left me feeling that the depictions of violence were used to discourage violence, not promote it.  Through showing the causes of that violence, whether bigotry or hatred, we can better avoid it.  And through showing us, accurately, the consequences that violence can have on people, we are more motivated to work towards preventing it.

Latter-day Saints may be asked to face violence in real life, and continue in faith to be a defender of a peaceful life.  Latter-day Saints, however, will never be asked to witness the intimate acts of procreation for any individual other than themselves.  Facing and dealing with violence is much more pervasive in this world than is witnessing actual acts of physical intimacy.  Through viewing accurate depictions of violence--not only in the physical act, but in its causes and consequences--I feel I am better prepared to prevent acts of violence, help those who deal with it to cope better, and teach my children qualities to prevent the allure of fighting to take hold in their heart.

I do not see many violent films, but I have seen some that are quite violent.  I would not watch them on a whim, nor would I watch them for mere entertainment.  I watch them to be changed for the better, to be molded by the sheer power of emotion they cause me to feel.  They are tough to watch and emotionally draining, but they have an impact on me which teaches me and molds me into a better person.  They leave indelible and unforgettable impressions which remind me of the importance of peace and they motivate me to work towards ensuring that peace.  These movies will have different impressions on virtually every individual that views them, but that is how it is for me.  Everyone is taught different; we all have different perceptions and unique perspectives.  The Spirit speaks to all of us in the language of our own heart and mind, a language which is as unique and catered to us individually as is the uniqueness of each star that shines in the heavens above.

The views and standards I hold may be shared by some, but even then, to differing degrees.  We are not only all different, but all fully capable of being aware of our own sensibilities to sex, nudity, and violence.  No one else can feel what we feel or think the thoughts that we think.  Likewise, no one else can know what influence they are having upon us--whether that of strengthening us in righteouesness or weakening us to the decaying morals of the world.  It is up to us, through prayer and spiritual discernment, to evaluate and act upon the promptings we receive based upon the media we view.  How we feel is important, but even more important is how does it motivate us?  How does the stirring of emotions you feel move you?  Do they move you to a life of peace and righteousness, or do they move you to act out, lose patience, and lash out towards others?  We all become something a little different after every film or TV show we watch...and hopefully that is something a little bit better and not a little worse.  We have the ability to discern what it is, and then the responsibility to control what it is and direct it towards righteousness.

2011 Reflections...2012 is Here

(This is a very unfocused entry that could definitely be considered rambling on my part, aka mental jibberish, so feel free to not waste your time and wait for the next update which will hopefully be soon!)

As I look back on 2011, I'm not sure what to make of it.  The one, most obvious aspect of my reflections are that I am nowhere close to being where I thought I would be at this stage of my life.  Last year at this time, our lives were filled with a lot of uncertainty.  I had lost my job, which means we also lost our benefits while we were expecting our third child, our computer crashed with no information on back up (this was painfully stressful, all our pictures, many journals, and all my historical research and work was on the hard drive), and we had medical debts we were struggling to pay.  With such a bleak state of things at that time, I guess I really wasn't sure where we would be at this point in time.  While many of the issues we have struggled with have simply persisted or grown bigger, we would really be struggling if it wasn't simply for each other.  Isn't it great how family can take your mind off things and help you simply enjoy each day and find so much joy?  Perhaps in my case, I use that as an excuse to not face the pressing things I should really be focusing on.  But then when I tell myself that, I keep thinking that my children's childhood will never come again and I should cherish every moment and help make it the best it can be for them.  Alas, one of my GREATEST weaknesses is FOCUS.  I simply can't do it.  I am as scatterbrained as Dory from "Finding Nemo."

Alas, here we are at 2012.  I am going to try again to get into some graduate programs.  I didn't try last year at all, mainly due to the fact I was employed in a good job until the end of the year and didn't have time to work on applications.  Maybe this year will be the year I finally have some luck with continuing education.  Alice is leery about such matters, I think she wants to just stay where we are and not deal with any drastic change.  Fortunately, I know she'll support her hubby and remember that no matter where we go, we'll be together and have our beautiful boys to help us have tons of fun.  So where may we end up?  Phoenix?  New York?  Canada?  London?  Sri Lanka?  OK, not Sri Lanka, but who knows.  The primary issue I face is--do I just commit to a life of working hard at whatever job I happen to have or try to really focus on a vocation I love and work for a more purpose with more intrinsic motivation?

My mind is full, primarily with questions that I have no clue to what the answers are, but questions that should have been answered long ago.  Interesting times.  One thing I am definitely looking forward to in 2012 is the Titanic's Centennial.  I am hoping to be busy during the coming months with my Titanic lectures.  I am emailing all the universities and colleges in the state to line up some lectures and am reaching out to some television shows as well, both local and national.  While there are several Titanic historians, I hope that my unique background and matchstick model will help with garnering some publicity.

With all the questions I face and struggles we have had, how grateful I am for Alice who has weathered more than she should ever have had to.  She has been a rock.  I know she may not have felt like it at times, but to be where we are now after what we've gone through certainly indicates that at her core she is solid.  How grateful I am to her, and that she knows me so well, and that she is honest with me even when I may not want her to be!  Life is grand together, and we love it.

And I could ramble on, but alas must do some other things before going to bed.  Here we go 2012.

September 11

One highlight of September was our trip as a family to the Healing Fields in honor of September 11.  We have done this every year for the past 8 years and are grateful that so many volunteers make this possible each year.  What a beautiful place to go to remember and reflect about September 11.  I consider it one of my responsibilities as a parent to help my children understand the importance of that day.  They need to understand that the power of hate is real, and that if you succumb to hatred only darkness and sorrow will result.  More importantly, they need to know that whenever hate roars its ugly head, the powers of righteousness and love will always make an appearance to combat the horrors of hatred.  Amidst the backdrop of tragedy, the hope of the Gospel shines ever so bright.  Sorrow seems to make our Christian sensibilities more acute, and causes us to cling more powerfully to that which is most important, and see the goodness in others as they do the same.

Below is a new addition to the Healing Fields this year.  This field in Sandy has been the home to the Healing Fields since they began, and this was the first Healing Field in America that inspired dozens others that now occur across the country.  This year they unveiled this new, massive bronze statue honoring the fallen responders of that day.  This is one of the iconic images seared into our memory from that day.

At the fields this year they also had a piece of actual debris from Ground Zero; a piece of steel from one of the Twin Towers.  To touch that steel, twisted by the heat of hatred yet preserved to honor the heroes, was an amazing experience.  I closed my eyes and reflected on the events the occurred around this very piece of steel on September 11, 2001.  It was an amazing experience.

September 11 will always be one of the most important days of my life for the ways it affected me then in becoming the person I am today.  One reason is that I was nearing the end of my mission in Korea and that added a unique perspective to my experiences on September 11.  Not only was I a missionary, preaching a Gospel of love and peace, but I was far away from my home, an American living on the foreign soil of South Korea.  My journals are full of my thoughts from those dark days, but this year, on the 10th anniversary, I have begun to recount my recollections of that week and how they have impacted me and continue to influence me still, 10 years on.  With kids of my own, I want them to understand why I will act the way I do the entire week leading up to September 11.  Why all the documentaries?  Family Home Evening lessons on selflessness, heroes, and miracles?  Why the emotional distance in moments of reflection?  My emotions are certainly close to the surface for many days during that time, and often overflow with tears as I watch the numerous documentaries recounting the stories of survival, sacrifice, miracles, and heroism.  I'm not done with my recollections yet, but will include the first paragraph here:

"As I laid down my head to rest in my small home as a missionary in Seoul, South Korea, on September 11, 2001, the people in the land I call home were just rising to begin their day I was now ending.  Following a day of hard work and joy as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I anticipated another day full of joy in the service of my Lord.  Completely unaware of the horror that was just beginning to unfold half way across the world, I slept that night with a peace….with a contentment….that I would never experience again; with a heart light in its naiveté of the true level of evil that existed in the world.  A heart that would soon be weighed down with a sorrow and comprehension from which it would never again be free.  As Americans awoke to the horrors of evil, I enjoyed my last night in the world as we would never know it again..."

A Quick Update

So the past 6 months have been so crazy that when I remembered I hadn't updated our blog earlier today I actually forgot what our address was!  Crazy times, indeed.

Today is Ryker's 6 month birthday.  What a joy the past 6 months have been, but they've gone TOO fast!  I wish I could freeze Ryker in time for a little while before letting him grow again.  But at that rate, I'd die of old age before he even got his driver's license.  I'd be stopping him growing too often!  I want to do the same thing with our other boys.  Being a parent truly is the greatest source of joy that Alice and I are blessed with.  Aside from each other and the Gospel, our boys bring the greatest joy in our lives.  Tommy and Jonas love their little brother.  Last week I asked Tommy what he wanted to take to bed for his ni-night toy and he said "Ryker!"  Tommy is giving Ryker hugs and kisses all day every day.  And Jonas loves being a "big brother" after a couple of years of being the little brother.  Isn't it amazing how at any given moment of any day you can just look at your kids and be immediately overcome with so much joy and gratitude that you just stop what you're doing and stare?  Yeah, I love those moments.

Despite all that has gone on the last 6 months, I won't provide a fully detailed update now (it's too late, I should be in bed).  We have had our fair share of challenges these past few months, and have dealt with more stressor events than I think we have at any other period in our 8 years of marriage.  At least no amount of stress can prevent the sun from setting each night and rising again in the morning, and no degree of challenge can change the innocence, virtue, and beauty of our children.  They're like built-in daily motivation to help us forget about our trials.  And General Conference last weekend was awesome...how about Elder Cook bringing the Titanic into Conference?  I about leapt off the couch!  It's been 9 years since our last Titanic reference in Conference, we were overdue for another.  And I'll quit yakking now and throw some pictures in this post before I go to bed.  After all, that's really why you check this blog, right?  For those updated pictures of those darn cute kids!

Ryker McKay Jensen

Time to blow the dust off this blog and get things going again. After all, isn't the birth of our third son reason enough to break out the 'ol keyboard again? Ryker McKay was born on April 11 at 6:38 AM. He weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz.. Today was his scheduled birthday--Alice was scheduled for a C-section this morning, but he came 8 days early!

So far, he has been our easiest baby (knock on wood). He was fussy at the hospital due to gas, but has totally mellowed out since coming home. He eats, sleeps, and just quietly sits around when he's awake. He has already smiled a ton and his brothers just adore him. Tommy and Jonas are always following him and then giving him hugs and kisses whenever he is within their reach.

We thought of the name Ryker McKay several months ago, though we didn't finalize it as his name until 3 days after he was born. Our main other choice was Hyrum, as I've always wanted a Hyrum and it has taken me several years to convince Alice to let me use that name (that's why Tommy and Jonas aren't Hyrum, Alice wasn't yet sold on using such a classic yet strong name). As this is our third boy, it may potentially be our last boy or even last child. With Alice having to have C-sections, the number of kids we can have is limited depending on how well her scar tissue heals from each C-section. Due to that fact, I simply wanted to be sure that we could potentially let Hyrum go as a name. Though we eventually settled on Ryker, we both agreed that if we have another boy it will be Hyrum.

Another reason for the hold-up was that the name Hyrum has a lot of meaning behind it, whereas Ryker simply sounds cool. Both Thomas and Jonas have names that have significance behind them in our families as well as the meaning of the name itself. With Ryker, we actually got led to that name through the middle name, which has more significance. McKay is his middle name, and it is after David O. McKay. I did a good amount of research about President McKay about 2 years ago and was amazed at his remarkable life. During the course of my research, I thought it would be appropriate to use the name McKay for a future son. Alice agreed, and about a year later she came home and said "How about Ryker McKay?" The two seemed to go together really good, and so we have held onto it for a while.

After 8 days, mother and baby are doing good. Alice is recovering nicely and Ryker is a truly wonderful addition to our home. Thank you everyone for your well wishes!

Hiking the Alps...Right in Utah

My friend and I hiked the peak known as the Pfeifferhorn as well as the Little Matterhorn. It is so called for its resemblance to the high and rocky peaks of the Matterhorn and other high peaks in the Alps. While not the highest peak in the local Lone Peak Wilderness range (that's Mt. Timpanogos), it is a much more grueling and, as such, a much more rewarding hike than the busy trails leading to Timp.

We took off early in the morning and made great time, reaching the mid way point at Red Pine Lake in only a couple hours (the Lake from my last posting, with Alice). The Lake is the midway point distance wise, although timewise and elevation wise it's not even a third of the challenge. There are no trails or markers past the lake that lead the way. It was quite a challenge but quite exhilirating. Much of it involved climbing up huge talus fields and large boulders, moving at a snail's pace to avoid tripping or twisting your foot and tumbling on some of the razor sharp rock edges. Once we reached the saddle, we could see the peak in the distance and we both thought it would be impossible to reach. It looked quite daunting and we both began having second doubts about completing what we set out to do, quickly justifying the hike as already rewarding enough. We pushed on nonetheless, admitting that we would turn around if we felt like it. Well, that never came and as we got closer it looked challenging, but we pushed on. Much of the climb is on slopes that are well over 50 degrees, you were nearly laying on the ground while vertically ascending. The view, however, was awesome. We even got cell phone reception from the top! We were also comforted by several large alpine valleys nearby suitable for a LifeFlight landing if the need arose.
After enjoying the view, we began our descent. This is where some poor decisions led to some sticky situations and a potential overnighter in the middle of the wilderness. More on that to come....

A Day Without the Kids!

And what do we do? A difficult hike that we couldn't possibly do with them! It was a strenuous hike that climbed 2500 feet in 2.5 miles but it was well worth it. Not only were the views along the entire trail gorgeous, but once we reached Red Alpine Lake we felt extremely fulfilled for the great efforts we exerted to get to the top. We had planned on hiking to the summit of a peak called the Pfeifferhorn, but Alice was just too exhausted to go any further so we enjoyed lunch and some leisure time exploring around the lake and enjoying its beauty. By the way, the water was WAY green, the pictures don't do the color justice.